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5 detik

Tersenyumlah karena Dia masih mengasihani rindu- rindu yang terpendam pada tiap hati manusia yang bertingkah seolah tidak.
Tapi..
5 detik saja kataNya
lalu ku iyakan, kau iyakan, maka terjadilah
cukup kataNya, "sudah kan? jangan kau bawa pulang, katamu cintamu hanya untukNya saja"
"iya" kataku, meski tau tak mau. meski mampuku sebatas ragu.
tapi selalu ku ingat bahwa Dia tak boleh ada duanya, maka aku mengangguk demi belajar menjadi ikhlas, itulah penguatku,
serta dengan bantuanmu tentunya, yang kalau kau termakan rayuan semu sedikit saja, maka binasalah.

sayangnya rindu bukan hanya milik satu orang saja, semua orang berhak memilikinya. dan payahnya, semua orang punya hak yang sama, merindukan satu orang dengan nama yang sama. lantas bagaimana?

jawabannya, ya tak apa, Dia tahu kapasitasmu terbatas, dan tak kau miliki kemampuan membaca hati dan pikiran orang, Dia paham kalau kau tak tahan uji, dan lebih dari mengerti betapa untuk mencoba menghapusnya, kau sudah kepayahan sekali. Kabar baiknya, Dia maha tahu apa, siapa, dan dimana seseorang akan bertemu siapa, dengan cara apa, dan dimana. Eh, itu bukan kata-kata yang ku ciptakan untuk menenangkan rindu campur sendu pada lamunan itu, tapi itu kata Tuhanku, maka jangan ragu, se di kit pun.

sore ini pahit, tapi manis.
pahitlah, siapa tahan mendengar namamu disebut sebut saat bahkan aku melihatmu saja sudah kalang kabut, takut penuh memori jangka panjangku, sampai besok, sampai diskusi kelompok, sampai tutorial, sampai makan malam di minggu berikutnya, sampai ujian di bulan berikutnya, dan yang paling ku takutkan, sampai beribadah, nauzubillah.

manis
manislah, kan ku pandangi dulu wajahku yang tersenyum sebelum tidur hahaha
bukan, manis sih sedikit, karena 5 detik berlalu amat sangat cepat.

kau jauh, jauh sekali
tapi yang lain bilang kau dekat, buktinya tak segan kata-kata kagum melesat lancar, dengan nada lucu dan menggemaskan, kemudian ditujukan untukmu, keras, jelas, walau pias dan panas di kedua telingaku
tapi mataku tersenyum, bahkan tertawa, berair, yang mereka pikir saking lucunya, tapi ku pikir saking pahitnya.

sudah dulu untuk malam ini, kalau besok ada lagi yang harus kuceritakan, pasti akan ku tuliskan, kalau tidak, mungkin seseorang yang lain yag tengah menuliskan tentangmu haha.

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