people are vary, but we can always learn something from someone. forcing people to be like what we want them to be is like stuffed them with fish when they got allergic on it. just because we put their necessity above ours, it doesn't mean they will do the same. mind's pattern are made by the value that they got from the circumstances. Some people treat you well because they believe that doing something nice are more beneficial than hurting someone, they got the experience on it or else they watch the people around them did it as well. While the other one who used to put their ego up above anything, will never have any idea to lower their selfish way, and keep upholding their necessity above the others. Human is perfect, God is really good. But behavior make it really complicated.  everyone want to be happy, but sometimes forget that the others begging for it too. it's almost impossible to wish everyone will be kind to us, just because we never hurt them, resp

untuk mama, papa, dan semua orang-orang yang saya sayangi dan menyayangi saya, semoga sehat selalu:)

My 2 am The heavy rain just too okay to remember something, or maybe someone? It’s like thousand memories that used to be faded back again. Rain drops to the ground create bittersweet harmony that forced to play in human’s brain. Rain targeted a loss control one, who wakeup at 2 am and missing somebody. It continously attack people consciousness to make people accidently grab their handphone and take uncontrolled action.                 Some peple said loving people is like a cherry pie, the others believe missing someone is like feel the honeydew. For me personally, missing somehow relate with waiting. There’s always waiting while missing someone. Majority of people hate gambling. The one who gambling is people who willing to sacrifice themselves. Talking about waiting, the possibility just about whether the person that we waiting for will come back or not. That’s gambling                 It’s 2 am and I cannot even sleep, my eyes refuse to close..... *to be continue

Lately lots of people told me about their problem in a friendship. It surprise me on how under my observation, people at least need 1-2 minutes to answer the question 'how you define friendship?'. God is too good, brain is like having a soul into. When we're being asked 'what's friendship means to you?'  The brain start to playing back memories that will make a person figure out some people or a photograph of other. Friend/friends are subjects who appear as hordes of benevolences. Unfortunately, actually it's more about tragically, human's nerve system push away any form of enormous gifts or the most expensive present from fake people  as prerequisite to the first time remind someone about friend or friendship. There's nothing wrong with gifts or present or even with giving materials. The problem is belong to the word 'intention'. Intention is something secret, and be careful cause sometimes we cannot differentiate which one is our real i

Heart is unpredictable thing. The more you learn what they want, the more it will confuse you. But heart is destined to be unpredictable. It got tachycardy whenever you feel something strange, like anxiety, excitement, physically and mentally drained, and being miserable. It got bradycardy whenever you feel like things going wrong, everything seems like gone away, hopeless, and you can't understand one of it and why they have to. Even the medical students just learn how they can be, not why they must be. All of us blessed to have heart as the one which equip the brain. Even though the brain sometimes become dominant. It just because people cannot be able to understand what it want. The brain specifically tell us what it want us to do and not to do. the brain with its capabilities to give logically thinking contribute more if we want to decice something, proven by appropriate reasons. It help us being rational while the heart don't. Even so.. Sometimes your logical thinking

I forgot the specific date of the day, but it's a bright evening when I saw a girl, her age is around 15-17 years old. The girl is crossing the zebra cross, her daddy hold her hand really tight. It's kinda my favorite view even some people may taught it's a common thing to be seen. I love to see the scene of a daddy protect his little girl in a drama or in a real life. All of people love to see an affection, including me, even I don't taste any of it. Just by imagine it will happen to me someday, it's enough to make my tear drop down as a form of happiness. Suddenly I remember some people ever ask me why I can be as that hard to myself. Today I realize that it's not a choice, it's a must. Cause I don't have a supporter in my life, I just have those who I 'call' as supporter, there's no one who will motivate me after a failure, I have to handle it by my own, I have to fix my broken heart by myself and swallow my tear as it drops while I ha

December 31st 2015, around 8.30 pm. It was little bit drizzle outside, but people don't mean it. It proved by hundreds people walking along the street, they laugh each other, some of them doing transaction, then deal with smile on their face. Kids asked their mommy to buy bugles, whimpered till crying. Fried food, meat ball, crepes, fried rice, noodle sellers and many more make this market become so crowded. The ones who got the highest income that day are food sellers I bet. Some couples enjoy the night by having a deep talk on the motorcycle. Indistinct, I can hear some fireworks blazing from the other side of gloomy sky, Sounds like joyful evening right? As the car turns right, my cousins busy to talk about our party on new year's eve, we already bough some corns and fishes from Panorama Market to be baked in our home like what people commonly do. Drizzle is not even stop, I look at the window and saw 3 or 4 old men with their worn out shirts and old hat. Maybe their age